Sheriff Complaints

My favorite Sheriff's Complaints in the local paper this week. Written word for word...

• Brother-in-law hit caller with a cane and head is bleeding, 2nd caller advisted he hit subject with cane by accident, 3rd caller advised neighbors are arguing, 4th caller advised his kid is being kidnapped and need the state boys here right now
  
  
• Caller has found concrete duck and chicken in his yard
  
  
• Subject is threating to mess neighbor up, burn his house down, and kill his dogs

And they say small towns are boring...