Anyone who's known me in the last few years has probably noticed something different about this November for me.

I've barely said a word about NaNoWriMo.

NaNo, the National Novel Writing Month, has been a part of my autumn for three years, and I have three completed novels (within the constraints) to show for it.

This November, however, I made the difficult decision not to participate.

Some of you know, and many do not, that my director announced his departure from APL a number of weeks ago. I have been named the Interim Director of APL, in addition to my normal duties as Assistant Director/Head of Adult Services/Webmistress.

He leaves in two weeks, and I've been desperately trying to get up to speed on taking over the reins in what I hope will be a smooth and successful transition. As such, work (and the recovery thereof) has dominated my October, rendering me useless when it comes to plot development, character development and more. I have a plot, I have characters, I even have the website ready to go, but I don't have "it" - the fire and excitement I normally have for NaNo. Right now, I'm too damn tired and overwhelmed to really do it well, and I really WANT to do it well.

I have elected not to apply for the directorship, much to the shock and dismay of my family and people who don't me very well. I have my reasons, some which are well understood, some which are not by those folks.

I like what I do. I genuinely like what I do right now, and I think I'm just gettin' good at it. I like collection development and reference, I like experimenting with new technologies and working on our website. God, sometimes I even like programming. I like my department, and I'm so proud of what we've done since I've arrived. And I have a lot of things yet to do - things I'm excited about, geeked about, and ready to tackle.

I like the people I work with, and the relationship I have with them. I truly believe that I can be a better advocate for this staff, and for maintaining our cohesiveness with a new director, if I can serve as a conduit between the staff and the new administration. Right now, I'm in between, and it works.

I'm young, and I have years and years to go. Some folks tend to forget I've only been doing this for three years - hell, I'm barely qualified for the job as it's advertised. I'm not even 30 yet. There's time for all this - because I know I'll be a director someday. So why not enjoy what I love doing right now, and leave the administration work until I know I'm ready and willing and wanting to take it on. I know I will, just not yet.

I know I'm going to kick ass as Interim Director. I know I'm going to kick ass in transitioning in a new director. And I know I'm going to kick ass in maintaining and cheerleading this staff of whom I'm so proud. I know I will - because I kick ass in general. ;-)

I'm sorry to those who are disappointed in me, or upset with my decision, but ultimately, it is mine. My own. (My precious.)

Some have said "yeah, but the money would be better, right?"

Yes, true, the money would be better.

But my psyche, my quality of life, my friendships and my general happiness might suffer, and a few more dollars to me isn't worth that. I know that about myself.

I just thought you all should know.

Anyhoo, back to NaNo....I've decided I'm still going to do NaNo - same rules, same regs. I'm just going to change the date a bit; instead of November, I'm thinkin' January. Stay tuned...

Thus, this autumn, it's NoNaNoWriMo. ;-)

No comments: